The Ex Files

They say breaking up is hard to do. Bullshit. Breaking up is easy. It's what follows the breakups that's difficult.

I once dated a guy for quite some time. He's 'The' ex, you know the one I mean. The one you compare future breakups to, the one you bitch about, basically the one that hurt you enought to have any kind of effect on you.

After we broke up, we agreed to stay friends, and it was all very nice...on the surface. We used to hang out, and text each other frequently and talk on the phone and whatnot.

I was young, and stupid, and still had feelings for him, which he well knew, and of course was delighted to get messages from him saying "luv u" and such. Time passed, and his misleading texts and emails continued to the point where I had come to the final straw. Instead of being pleased about the sweet nothings he'd bestow upon me, I realised that's exactly what they were. Nothings. There was nothing there.

This same ex made a pass at me one night. This was my opportunity. I could either reciprocate and delight in a fling with the ex, followed by the despair when I would inevitably realise that no, we're not getting back together, or I could walk away. I walked.

I told him that I was sick of the text messages, sick of the empty "i luv u"s dotted around his emails, sick of him thinking that I was always going to be there. I know what you're thinking. Maybe he missed you and wanted you back... yup, I considered this. But I also considered the fact that at this point we'd been broken up over a year and there wasn't the faintest waft of another girl in his life, whereas I'd gone right through the rebound circuit and out the other side. He was bored, and hadn't so much as kissed another girl, so naturally assumed I would be little Miss Ready Willing and Able.

Think again buddy.

We didn't talk for awhile after that. In time we'd talk again, but things were different. There was no more sweetness, no kindness. He was harsh and cruel and insulting. No doubt bitter with a wounded ego, but he became unbearably nasty.

I'd try to make conversation with him and he'd shoot back some backhanded comment. Trust me, I was no angel to him, and I have an acid tongue and can be an absolute bitch. But in my defence, I did try. I tried to be his friend. Turns out all he wanted was a verbal punch bag.

I'm sure there was nobody else that he spoke to the way he spoke to me. He treated me with no respect and with utter disdain.

I'm glad he's no longer in my life, but it's very sad to see someone who used to be my best friend as well as my boyfriend could turn into someone that I would consider a truly horrible person.

It's taught me a lesson, though. Always evaluate how you speak to people, because you might be completely disrespecting someone without even realising it. And take it from me, it's no fun being on the recieving end of that.