On Love

Love is a many splendid thing.
All you need is love.
Don't go breaking my heart.
I hate you so much right now.

Whether you have it, or you don't.. there's a song for you.
Love. People are constantly seeking it, singing about it, crying about it, and now I'm talking about it.


Life can be shared with another person. But the key word there is "shared". Life can be shared another person. You don't give your life to another person.

I have so many hopes and aspirations for my future, things I've always wanted. And I've always insisted that even if I was to meet the love of my life, I would never change these dreams. If he didn't want to go along with it, well and good. But he'd be flying solo. That might sound kind of pigheaded of me, but I do believe that you can't possibly have met The One unless what you both want is the same thing.

Which leads me back to sharing a life. Sharing something means giving a part to someone else and keeping another part for yourself. No matter what you do, who you meet, how you act... deep down, you can never be anyone but yourself. Could you really give yourself up just to appease someone else?

If you have a dream, is it worth throwing it away because it doesn't match another?

Life is about priority.
About making choices, taking chances.

It's an experience, whether you share it with one person, with your family, your friends or even if you're just a free spirit.
But it's your experience.

You're the author of your own life. Don't let someone else finish your story.

Anywhere but here.

In my 22 years, I've travelled to a whole lot of places. I've seen intense beauty and heartbreaking poverty.

I've seen the Empire State Building in New York, stood under the Eiffel Tower in Paris, sailed the canals of Venice, drank vodka in underground bars in Krakow, seen the Berlin Wall.

And after every trip, after seeing every new place, falling in love over and over again in so many different corners of the world, I come back to the one place in the world I wish I wasn't.

Right now, my family are over in the states. This is something they usually do twice a year, leaving me home alone.
Usually I relish in having the house to myself, feeling pretty claustraphobic as soon as they return.

But this year, it's different. I really miss them. My house creaks when the central heating is on, and every time I hear a creak or a thud, for a split second I think it's one of my family. Weird, huh?

My mom, as some of you may know, is American.
She's the closest link I have to getting citizenship/residency or whatever.

I was thinking about doing another masters or my PhD once I finish this masters program, but honestly? Right now all I want is to be anywhere but here.

It's frustrating and infuriating. I'm usually a pretty happy person, fairly laid back and happy-go-lucky, but I'm miserable here, and I truly hope that some day soon I'll be able to leave.

Life experience

My earlier post got me thinking about life experiences.

I know this guy, an acquaintance really. And because I actually think he's quite a nice person, I'll do the unusual and give him a pseudonym. Let's call him.... Frank.

One day I was speaking to Frank, and I was telling him all about crazy things I had done when I was a teenager. I covered all the typical, dyeing my hair crazy colours, getting tattoos, piercings, getting drunk, sneaking out, stealing traffic cones... the usual stuff people do when they're going through their rebellious phase.

Frank, on the other hand, didn't drink til he was 18, hadn't done anything like that, hell, didn't even have a rebellious phase.

Which led me to thinking... is it necessary to do all this stuff when you're young? Or is it only so because society has led us to believe that once we reach a certain age, we're expected to behave a certain way?

For people like me, who have done the 'phase', will we find it easier to settle down and behave ourselves? And for people like Frank, are they expected to have a mid -life crisis?

Maybe we should all forget about doing the crazy thing, doing the behaved thing and just do our thing.

How does one define life experience anyway? Isn't life, in itself, life experience enough? Does it really matter how you live your life, as long as you live it the way you want to?

Happy New Year everyone.
I truly hope it'll be a great one for everyone.

Out with the old...

I woke up with a sore head and a blurred memory this morning.
I'm having a serious "Residue Day".

You know those days after drinking where nothing really happens except a long shower and a lot of sleep? And all around you is mess from the night before. Discarded shoes, coat dumped over a chair, plate on the ground from the greasy chips you had the night before.

Last night I went to a party. One of those excellent, packed house, far too much wine kind of affairs.

This morning though, I woke up feeling truly awful. I'm having one of those hole-in-the-memory kind of mornings and am now worried that I said or did something to someone that I shouldn't have.

I'm pretty sure I behaved myself, but I always find myself worrying until I hear from someone who was out the night before. I need that phone call to reassure me that yes, I behaved and no, I didn't pour a drink down someone's shirt.


Nights out are great. And my nights out are even better than great. I have had more fun at parties and events and nights out and general craziness than some people will have in their entire lives.

But this year, maybe it's time for change. I know I'm being very ambitious and cliched here. Making resolutions on January 1st and whatnot, but still.
Maybe it's time to calm down a bit.

I don't mean get horrendously dull and start spending my evenings watching Pat Kenny and drinking tea, but I'm getting sick of the worry the morning after a night out, and even sicker of feeling crap. I know its all part and parcel of being young and going a bit crazy, but I don't know... maybe it's time for a fresh start.